FIND THIS BOY A MOM

Jaded—no longer interested in something, often because of having been overexposed to it.

Narcissism—excessive self-admiration and self-centeredness.

One of the two, maybe a mixture of both. Either way it must be me, yet I always seem to keep trying. Doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results. Is this not the very definition of insanity? There is only one heart in my chest, but it is covered in bruises. Fifty one days ago it happened again; I had my heart ripped out of my chest. Problem is my son loved her also. Is it possible that I only date sadists? I have lots of female friends; they just aren’t sadistic enough for me maybe.

In a few weeks a young lady I met over twenty years ago is coming up to visit Hunter and I. We have always been friends and I have had a crush on her since the day we met. Time, distance, and other relationships have kept us on good terms. Hopefully six days together will not ruin what we have; every time you lose a relationship of any sort you also lose a friend.

As we grow longer in the tooth and our hairs continue to gray (and fall out), my search continues. Wisdom seems to tell me to become jaded, as hurt always comes again. Ego tells me to become a narcissist; don’t let someone hurt you again. Raising a three year old by yourself makes you scream FIND THIS BOY A MOM!!